I am a single mum to 4 beautiful daughters, they have completely unique personalities, They all have their own talents and each one excels in different areas in life. One thing they all have in common is me.
I am their only constant and their main role model so how I talk about myself and the language I use in front of them matters.
When youngest daughter Amarlie Briallen was only 3 years old she told me I had a beautiful belly when We were laying down together on our co-shared bed, I tickled her and sat up and said ‘this is mumma’s belly too bub’ inviting her to look at the ‘Mum tum’ in all its beautiful glory.
Amarlie ran her tiny soft fingers over my belly then laughed and played with her own tummy bending down to make her own little rolls, squishing two together to form a mouth as she pretended her tummy was talking about how hungry it was and how it needed chocolate right now….. (nice try kiddo!!)
Moments later Miss 11 joined us on the bed and exclaimed ‘you’re the most beautiful Mum in the world mum’ cue Instant heart melt moment.
Both my other daughters agreed and told me just how beautiful I am and how lucky they were to have a such a good mum.
Awwww bless their little cotton socks!
Hearing I am a good mum is a compliment I never took well and really struggled to accept because as mums we always assume and believe we are failing our kids and even only a few years ago I would of cringed receiving a compliment about my parenting skills or my inner or exterior beauty.
I undoubtedly would of responded with something unenthusiastic like ‘well thanks girls but I’m no super model’ And it’s no secret that I am certainly not a super model, not even fucking close but I am making it my mission to remind myself before blurting out dismissive remarks that I have 8 little ears pricking up and hearing those cynical words and 4 eager minds absorbing them to store up and use against themselves later in life.
My language matters more than ever with 4 young and impressionable girls observing my every move and on the days I feel like absolute shit with oily hair, feeling fat and bloated , have bad skin that can rival that of a teen with raging hormones at the peak of puberty or if I am just feeling fucking blah I have to stop and remind myself that this body is still beautiful.
So instead of saying ‘well thanks BUT’ I am now conscious of my responses, as a mum and as a woman all I truly desire is for my 4 girls to grow up understanding and appreciating their body, to learn self acceptance and to embrace their mind and body as I do mine.
My body has been through hell and back over the years, it has been beaten, sexually abused, taken advantage of, endured self inflicted abuse and harm, been through withdrawals and overcome many addictions and it is scarred. It has been through 2 miscarriages, 3 vaginal births, 1 cesarean and a medical termination.
It houses a heart that is used to provide unconditional love to my babies, my family and my friends and it is strong enough to carry the heaviness of years of hurt and pain but the most phenomenal thing my body has ever done is grow, nourish and birth 4 tiny humans and deliver them safely into this world.
And after all of that…… this body is still fucking beautiful❤️