My love/hate relationship with Kmart.

I have a love/hate relationship with Kmart.

I love nearly everything about Kmart, love how cheap shit is and I’m poor as fuck so it helps me give the illusion of having at least a little bit of money BUT I hate having to build my own furniture…..and the infamous kids kitchen that was all the craze…….

Can you see these kids laughing and smiling and happily playing in their brand new Kmart kitchen on the box?

Kmart kitchen box with blonde child laughing, wooden kitchen

Me too, but let me tell you right now, the parent who made that for them is NOT FUCKING LAUGHING!!!

I took on the challenge a little while ago…

The parent who made that kids kitchen opened up the box to 726 screws and 263 ‘numbered and lettered pieces’ and instantly felt a sense of dread completely consume them!

Red plastic bags with screws and nails on black pleather lounge

What kind of fuckery is this?!!

So many Tiny…tiny screws and this mumma has nails! ‪

Purple and silver nails, fingers, screwing a nail into toy kitchen

So many swear words later, a few threats made against everyone and anyone under my breath including the kids & Santa Claus since he is the fat old bastard that got it (and yes that was many, many……many moons ago….don’t you judge me!!!)

‬A couple of tears and tantrums and a shitload more curse words screamed at the toy from hell I am so close to finishing this fucking kitchen and feeling rather chuffed at my amazing building abilities…… until I realise the splashback board is upside Fucking down!

Kmart wooden toy kitchen, utensils, splashboard upside down, wooden kitchen

The kitchen appears to be smugly smiling at me and at this point I’m reaching for the hammer to fuck shit up, I feel like using those tiny nails and scratching my eyeballs out!

I contemplate leaving it upside down but even the thought is sending my anxiety into over drive!

So I take this kitchen apart enough to fix the splash board so the utensils do not look like they miraculously defying gravity, put it back together with somewhat ease this time and the taste of pending victory is so close and so sweet…

And then this kid right here, this gorgeous little Miss who had just witnessed the VERY long and very real struggle ….she wants to play with the god damn box!!!!!

Little girl with curly hair smiling and sitting on a Kmart wooden toy kitchen box

Fuck this I’m out, Where’s my $1 Kmart wine glass?

Mummy needs a drink!!!

29 Comments on “My love/hate relationship with Kmart.

  1. Absolutely hilarious. I was laughing out loud!!. They always prefer the effing box. Are you a member of the Kmart Facebook pages??

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So true. I don’t have a Kmart near me, but it doesn’t even matter where you buy the furniture. There’s always 10 million screws and nails and there’s usually parts missing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha love it! I’m overseas traveling for 6 months and every time I get homesick one of the #1 things I miss is Kmart!! Good thing I have a big car because I’ll be playing Kmart Tetris trying to stick all the new furniture in the back once I get home!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is hilarious! Why do kids always go for the box though? Well done for making the kitchen, those things are a nightmare.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have the same problem! I cant put ANYTHING together right… I mean it’ll stand up and all, but I recently was told that I’m not supposed to have pieces left over (News to me). They saw it as I didnt put it together properly… I saw it as bonus pieces. I refuse to do it over again to include them! lol

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This post made me laugh so much! I too head to Kmart first when it comes to needing furniture items as it is SO cheap, completely forgetting WHY it is so cheap… because YOU have to make it! I have many shelves from there, some are identical yet came with different items that were also labelled wrong. Putting them together was a nightmare – but I just can’t say no to that price point!

    Liked by 1 person

    • We are certainly getting what we paid for!!! Haha

      The price of everything is too tempting, I have so many scented candles that don’t actually smell and so many fury pillows that make me sneeze but they were just so cheap!!!! Hahaha

      Like

  7. That is absolutely hilarious! It’s not just Kmart though – it seems like nowadays you have to build eveything and I hate it!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is great! I already have anxiety about having to build everything for Christmas! I bought a trike from there and almost threw it through a window mid build!

    Liked by 1 person

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