Motherhood can get so fucking lonely! There, I said it!
How often I get asked ‘but you have 4 kids, how can you feel lonely?!
Whether I had 1, 4 or 45 kids the loneliness is not about being alone mums are never really alone.
We can’t take a shower without our kids taking the hot water tap turning on as their cue to come in with a broken doll that they haven’t wanted for the past 3 fucking years, ripping open the shower door to hysterically explain why we need to find and fix the dolls missing leg RIGHT NOW and then stand there and cry the entire time only for us to get out search the house, find the leg, fix the doll and for them to tell you the doll is creepy and never play with it again!
(That was super specific because it fucking happened…But I ain’t even bitter😒)
Loneliness is having the kids constantly being around and all over us, demanding one thing after another but having no one to talk to, really talk to about anything other than snacks, poop, snacks and snacks….and poop.
We crave adult interaction and want to have grown up conversations about grown up things like sex and masturbation guilt and politics and wine!!!
I have wonderful friends who get it because they’re mums too but then the anxiety of offloading onto them when they have their own shit going down stops me from reaching out and I know it stops them reaching out as well because when we do talk our loneliness comes up often, single or in a relationship we all feel the same.
Lonely and Isolated.
We are told we have no right to be lonely as mothers when we have our children to keep us company and that sentiment is reinforced with every shitty question and comment we receive about how in the world can we feel anything less than complete maternal bliss as mothers because that is our ‘role’ as women.
Motherhood is far from a constant state of euphoria, there’s extreme highs and extreme lows and loneliness can consume us, we shouldn’t be made to feel guilty or inadequate as a parent it is completely natural to crave interaction, affection and compassion from other adults.
Instead What we need to do is start talking about how we feel openly without fear of judgement. We need to reach out to other mums and let them know we get it, we understand amd validate their feeling and that we fucking see them!