I had a conversation today and whilst I was standing there chatting away about a fence my mate quite indiscreetly adjusted himself a few times to get his balls to sit nicely in order to be comfortable…
We kept chatting and once again he adjusted himself throwing in an extra leg lift this time to ensure those bad boys were sitting pretty…My impulse reaction was to stare that mofo dead in the balls and lift my gaze slowly to meet his eyes so he knew I had had enough and said ‘slow down with the nutsack attack cobber and leave your cockadoodle donger alone for 10 minutes old mate!
He laughed and told me he can’t help it, it’s hot and he is uncomfortable and it’s a habit that he doesn’t realise he is doing.
So I explained that as a woman as shocking as it is our vadge gets sweaty as well.
Some of us hate wearing certain knickers because they crawl up and our asshole feels like it’s getting flossed AND that sometimes we get itchy asses or prickly pears especially if we shave but as women we are in the habit of ensuring we don’t make OTHERS uncomfortable.
So we leave that string to crawl it’s way up into our fucking intestines, we ignore the extreme itch of public hair piercing its way back through our skin, when we have our period we shuffle around and roll our hips trying to adjust our pad or tampon that feels like it’s not big or strong enough to handle the blood from what looks like a double homicide in our undies!
I started scratching myself quite indiscreetly and my mate who tried ever so hard not to lose eye contact with me whilst this was happening laughed and asked What the fuck I was doing….
I told him I’m breaking a fucking bad habit!
I believe in equal rights and if you can grab at the gonads in public then I can scratch the snatch!
His name is NOT Gary or Chad and is a good mate so he knows what to expect from me, this was a light hearted conversation but one with substance none the less!