Gaslighting – my best friends Abusive partner uses suicide as a control tactic.

Trigger warning – abuse mentioned*

‘Remember me when I’m gone’

This is the message she got when she went out with her best friend with a photo of him holding a knife to his wrist.

Threatening suicide became his favourite control tactic and it worked.

He searched over 11 local clubs and bars that night to find her, searching for her knowing she was with her best friend but he didn’t care instead he blew up her phone with calls and messages threatening suicide and threatening to fuck up anyone she was with.

She was completely faithful to him even through the constant abuse but that didn’t stop him from accusing her of cheating every day when she walked in the door.

Cheating on him with her boss, her customers, her friends husband, people who looked at her or who she was polite to, cheating on him with her own fucking cousin!

He expected to be able to check her phone every day the minute she walked in her front door.

Read More

A letter to my daddy, the brightest star in the sky. I love you too much.

One year ago daddy, mummy got a phone call that she says changed our lives forever. I don’t remember it, it was late at night and I was sleeping but I stirred when I heard mummy crying as she pat my back until I fell back to sleep.

The next morning mummy was still crying and she told me that my daddy was a star now and that I wouldn’t see him for Christmas unless I looked to the sky, she told me through her tears and her quaking voice that I would never see you again because you had to go away.

She said you were very sick for too long and couldn’t fight any longer. She said she was really scared to do all of this on her own but she would make you so proud with how she raised us kids.

I was so sad but didn’t really understand what was happening, I cried because I wanted you to come and see me every day like you used to, I cried to mummy a lot and mummy wiped my tears away with her shaky hands and promised me that everything would be ok, sometimes I didn’t believe her but her cuddles and kisses made me feel better.

Read More

Consent matters, we have the right to say NO!!

A few days back my daughters friend came home and told her mother, a close friend of mine, that at the year 6 formal that if a boy asks a girl to dance with them that they should not say no because it could ‘offend’ the young boy.

On hearing this I asked my 12 year old and she confirmed that yes they had been encouraged to accept ALL offers so they do not upset someone.

Read More

Motherhood can be so lonely.

Motherhood can get so fucking lonely! There, I said it!

How often I get asked ‘but you have 4 kids, how can you feel lonely?!

Whether I had 1, 4 or 45 kids the loneliness is not about being alone mums are never really alone.

We can’t take a shower without our kids taking the hot water tap turning on as their cue to come in with a broken doll that they haven’t wanted for the past 3 fucking years, ripping open the shower door to hysterically explain why we need to find and fix the dolls missing leg RIGHT NOW and then stand there and cry the entire time only for us to get out search the house, find the leg, fix the doll and for them to tell you the doll is creepy and never play with it again!

Read More

Yes I have 4 kids and yes they are all girls..

‘Oh wow another girl!! You didn’t give poor daddy his boy, you’ll have to keep trying!!

I can not tell you how many times people said that to me with each pregnancy announcement and never quite understood other people’s disappointment in my bringing little human into the word regardless of gender.

I was young and let the comments slide mostly thinking it was just because we had an overwhelmingly imbalanced girl to boy ratio in the family but over the years I’d heard these remarks made constantly to friends and family and then a few days ago I saw a very similar comment made by one mum to another mumma expecting her 4th girl on a group I follow….’oh no, poor daddy!!!!!


Read More