Tag: #deathbysuicide

My daughter lost her daddy to suicide, she doesn’t understand yet.

Posted on March 24, 2019 by Christielee

She lost her daddy to suicide a year ago now and it hasn’t gotten easier and it isn’t getting better. She doesn’t understand yet. She has been having a lot of moments lately, she has been crying over the smallest of things, slamming doors…

Category: Health & Wellness, ParentingTags: #anxiety, #deathbysuicide, #girltalk, #iwillnotbesilent, #mentalhealth, #mentalhealthawareness, #mummyblogger, #mumthatsabadword, #raiseawareness, #raisingchildren, #raisingheralone, #singlemum, #suicide, #suicideawareness, #suicideprevention

We done a thing & cancelled Easter Day this year. . Ok Janet get yourself a cuppa, call Chad to bring you home some nice bikkies & get your judgy gasps prepared for what you’re about to read . Every holidays we do exactly what is expected from us, Xmas I spend too much money on presents we don’t need & end up in the donate pile. Broken dolls & games with missing pieces lie around the house, the monopoly board with no money & a missing boot piece reminding Me of the of money I wasted . Before we even pack the kids presents away chocolate eggs hit the shelves & the kids lose their shit. . As a single parent who knows the cost of a Cadbury egg is as much as a kidney on the black market, it becomes a source of anxiety over how I'll afford Easter & make it through the holidays with 4 kids on a fucking sugar high! . But it’s not just the money or missing puzzle pieces or even the sugar high that kills me, it’s that every year we are expected to be anywhere but home. . We wake up early & open presents & rush through breakfast screaming to hurry up & within an hour we're in the car we drive from one auntys to anothers . I love holidays & LOVE being with family. I live for Christmas & think I love it more than my kids & Easter is always a great long wknd but each year my girls ask why can’t we just stay home. . So This year we cancelled Easter Day the way we are expected to enjoy it.....this year we are doing it our way! . We are not buying a huge amount of eggs, we get one egg & a new Easter outfit each from Kmart. . We are not going to wake up early to rush breakfast, I struggle on a normal day to get the kids out of the house by 9am but when there are presents or chocolate involved getting us all ready and out of the house is as painful as being forced to watch an episode of fuller house! . We are not going from house to house, we aren’t driving half the day or watching the clock. . This year my girls are getting their Easter wish and we are not doing anything other Than whatever we like at whatever time we like..... . So how was your tea and biscuits Janet? . . #mumthatsabadword

I would just like us all to take a moment and really appreciate the gravity of what I am about to tell you... . . It’s school holidays and I just napped for over an hour........NAPPED....FOR AN HOUR!!! . . I usually wouldn’t be so ambitious as to lay down on my bed during the day because well, I’m a mum not a dad (it’s a joke I know #notalldads) but I set my goals high today and I almost achieved soul rejuvenating greatness... . . I slept and I didn’t get poked in the ribs or prodded by a small crotch demon for no other reason than they clearly hate sleep and take pleasure in feeding on the exhausted souls of parents everywhere. . . I slept and wasn’t woken up by a loud and persistent toddler whispering ‘MUUUUUM,..are you aseeeep? ‘Muuuuum, mummy, mmmmmmmum, are you seeeeeeepiiing? . . Until half an eye flutters and I make forced eye contact because her face is 4cm away from mine as she exclaims ‘Ohhhh, hi mumma I didn’t know you were seeping? . . ‘Didn’t you? You didn’t know? My closed eyes, not answering you and heavy breathing that stank sleep breath didn’t give it away my darling little puckered starfish? Sorry, my mistake... . . No ones fighting startled me awake. No doors were slammed in anger. No screaming alerted me to a non existent fire. No dishes or glasses were smashed (which I am sure we can all agree is a HUGE accomplishment!) . . No mummy cat woke me up by meowing incessantly at anyone who dared move in the house to be fed AGAIN for the 5th time today or by whinging at the screen door for hours to get outside desperate to get her whore on again. . . Not even the kitten planned a surprise attack on me opting to just sleep by my side without so much as stirring. . . No kids or animals were involved in destroying my newly acquired and much appreciated sleep induced sanity. . . Nope, no one else had a hand in ruining the one nap I have been able to have in the last 15 faaaarkin years.......and then my own body betrayed me! . . #mumthatsabadword

I have always aimed to present myself as body confident since having children and 79% of the time I truly appreciate what my body is capable of and embrace my thickness. . . I proudly wear my swimmers on the beach and show my mum tum and back rolls. . . I will happily wear shorts that do not hide my cellulite and dimples on my thighs. . . I give absolutely no fucks in wearing clothes that show my spider veins, c-section scar and scars and my stretch marks and I have 4 girls watching everything I do and I want them to grow into self assured young women. . . It took me many years but for 79% of my life I live by my favourite life lesson, what other people think of me is NONE OF MY FUCKING BUSINESS! But for 20% of the time I dislike parts of myself (sometimes immensely) and 1% I hate everything about me..... . . Thursday night before the event I was that 1% and I had a huge anxiety attack about what I looked like and the result was every fucking shoe I own and every fucking piece of clothing ended up On my bed and floor and I left the house feeling anything else but myself! . . I was trying to look like someone I am not, I wasn’t being true to myself because I hated Myself, I hated not being able to fit my clothes And I hated that my acne was flaring because of the stress. . . I hated that jeans I wore last week I couldn’t do up this week and that my eyebrows looked like Red the Angry birds brows, in the end I went shopping in the city before the event to buy my usual staple black piece and after a few wines and having my make up done at the event I started to chill TF out. . . Some days it’s ok to dislike parts of yourself maybe even all of you but remember not to unpack and set up tent at camp woeful because it’s a fucking cold and lonely place to stay. . You are so much more than a number on the scales, you are everything! . Try to Remind yourself of all your body has been through and everything it has provided for you including those impressionable little people observing how you talk about yourself. . . Treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve, treat yourself the way you want your children to treat themselves . . #mumthatsabadword

Last night I attended the Marie Claire Australia’ presents a night with Drew event....that’s Drew Fucking Barrymore ya’ll! . To say I am inspired by her even more now than I have been since I was 4 years old is the understatement of the century, I almost feel as though I had a spiritual awakening in her presence and I definitely had an epiphany whilst sitting there hanging onto every single beautiful and intelligent word that came from her mouth , I didn’t get to personally meet Drew Barrymore last night which was probably great for her as I more than likely would of thrown up on her amazing clothes and would have had to go home and die, I did however have the honour of sitting a few meters away from her and listen to the woman I have admired and aspired to be like my entire life talk about love and divorce, life in all of its messy and inconvenient glory, creating and running an empire and of course parenthood. . She was fucking hilarious, she is such a gorgeous little pocket rocket and to hear her rattle of some fuck You’s and then drop a burp in the mike on cue was like sitting there with your best mate who you’ve known for years. . There was no pretentious bullshit or an ‘I am better than you’ undertone whatsoever and besides the fact that to buy her killer outfit I’d probably need to sell a kidney or a kid to afford, you totally forgot you were not just hanging with your girl instead of a Hollywood movie mogul and business genius. She was just so fucking humble . I’ve said it before but I am not a celebrity follower (except Jason mamoa @prideofgypsies cuz I’m not blind, I have fucking eyes I’d follow that man straight into the fiery pits of hell!) but Drew Barrymore was more than a ‘movie star’ to me. . @drewbarrymore helped me through so many huge life events and at the height of my addictions and the lowest point of depression it was her autobiography (which I got for my 18th and reading how she battled her own addictions and her own crazy af childhood to getting herself to where she is now that gave me the confidence and strength I needed to get me back to being myself. . Cont in comments*

Tag: #deathbysuicide

My daughter lost her daddy to suicide, she doesn’t understand yet.

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