Tag: #embarrassing

The day I became a woman wasn’t what I expected.

Posted on October 24, 2018 by Christielee

I was at the stage where I was chanting ‘I must, I must, I must increase my bust’ into the mirror daily..

Category: ParentingTags: #children, #embarrassing, #empoweringwomen, #girltalk, #growingup, #life, #lifestyle, #mumlife, #mummyblog, #mummyblogger, #mumslife, #mumthatsabadword, #parentingblog, #parentingkids, #periods, #puberty, #raisingchildren, #sextalk, #singlemum, #teenager, #tweens, #vagina, #womanhood, #womanly, Parenting

Trigger warning sexual abuse mentioned* The first time a man took my power away I was 7 years old, he was someone I loved and trusted and looked up to. But he is just a boy. He has his whole life ahead of him. He deserves another chance at life. He went on to abuse many other children including his own and suspected of killing his newborn baby, they gave him that chance. He led the way for other men to viciously and violently take from me and for me to continuously allow them too because I had absolutely no self worth, my mind was mine to torment and my body was a mans, any mans, all mens... The sexual abuse and emotional torment left me voiceless in an unexpected way, I became a target for men to abuse me as though predators could sense I had fallen victim to one man so now I was flagged as a willing victim. Even as an adult I attracted narcissistic men with sexually violent behaviours and gave them the excuse that I was being 'too sensitive' and just overreacting once again. I was not. After being sexually abused as a child often a child will become withdrawn and timid but I actually became louder, outspoken and abrupt, unafraid to speak my mind but I really had nothing to say or more so, I was saying the wrong things to the wrong people, when it came to men I still stayed silent I still had no voice I still had no power I still had no control I was a lost little girl being led by wolves into darkness. All aspects of my life were affected by the trauma of childhood abuse, I continued to be a victim to grown men from a very young age and I struggled to break the cycle. Relationships that were good I sabotaged and those that were bad I welcomed because that's all I deserved in my mind. I felt worthless but I was desperate to be loved, Desperate to be heard. When I didn't have those things I needed I would make myself seen, how my body looked was the one thing I could govern and I was determined to be thin and overtly sexual, I believed that that was what sexiness was and I had been conditioned to believe this by both men and women alike. (More in comments or Read more on the blog, link in bio)

#mumlife really encompasses all that is the motherhood. . Mum life is starting to redecorate the room then running out of money....and the will to live. . It’s trying to make a bed with 476 cushions, 4 matching throw rugs and a beautiful quilt cover set with a very sad toddler on your hip. . It is admitting defeat and using on mismatching sheets and throwing an empty quilt cover ice the 3 tangled blankets and the unfolded washing piling up at the end of said bed. . Mum life is cleaning up your room before work to come home and clean up your room after work even when no one was home.....who the fuck was in my house?! . Mum life is buying a beautiful corner chair and convincing yourself it will not become a substitute for the walk in wardrobe (or the kitchen fucking table) until it is the newest clothing dumping ground.....I hate that chair and I swear at that shiny silver fucker every👏single👏fucking👏day👏 . Mum life is ripping your fucking hair out and silently screaming on the inside but having a wine and holding your shit together like a fucking boss! . It’s waking up in the morning having to face your dump of a house because you told yourself last night not to worry about cleaning up, the mess isnt going anywhere and it can wait.....OF COURSE IT IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE IF I DONT CLEAN IT, WTF WAS I THINKING?!! . Mum life is calculating in your head how many years left before the kids finally move out and then getting upset thinking about how fast it’s going to go and how you’re going to die all alone and no one will know until one day they break down your door to find the cats have eaten off your cold, hard toes!!! . Mum life is loving the holidays and not doing the school run yet counting down the days until they go back to school. . Mum life is hard and sticky and messy and STRESSY and so many other fucking adjectives but it is also the absolute greatest time in our lives. . But mostly, mum life is unbelievably CRAZY BEAUTIFUL 💖 . Now where’s the wine? . Tee from @mumlifethelabel #mumthatsabadword #mumlifethelabel #unitycircle1

Tag: #embarrassing

The day I became a woman wasn’t what I expected.

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